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English Is A Crazy Language Essay

“English Is a Crazy Language” – Richard Lederer
And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it . ... Nonetheless, it is now time to face the fact that English is a crazy language ...

English Is A Crazy Language Essay

Nonetheless, it is now time to face the fact that english is a crazy language -- the most loopy and wiggy of all tongues. In fact, a dog can go to the bathroom under a tree -- no bath, no room its still going to the bathroom. One goose, two geese -- so one moose, two meese? One index, two indices -- one kleenex, two kleenices? If people ring a bell today and rang a bell yesterday, why dont we say that they flang a ball? If they wrote a letter, perhaps they also bote their tongue.

To get started, why not ask a question? Just go to the forum you want to make a post in, and then click on the button that says post new thread. And why is it that writers write but fingers dont fing, grocers dont groce and hammers dont ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isnt the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

English has acquired the largest vocabulary of all the worlds languages, perhaps as many as two million words, and has generated one of the noblest bodies of literature in the annals of the human race. If the teacher taught, why isnt it also true that the preacher praught? Why is it that the sun shone yesterday while i shined my shoes, that i treaded water and then trod on the beach, and that i flew out to see a world series game in which my favorite player flied out? If we conceive a conception and receive at a reception, why dont we grieve a greption and believe a beleption? If a firefighter fights fire, what does a freedom fighter fight? If a horsehair mat is made from the hair of horses, from what is a mohair coat made? Not opposing pairs? If harmless actions are the opposite of harmful actions, why are shameful and shameless behavior the same and pricey objects less expensive than priceless ones? If appropriate and inappropriate remarks and passable and impassable mountain trails are opposites, why are flammable and inflammable materials, heritable and inheritable property, and passive and impassive people the same? How can valuable objects be less valuable than invaluable ones? If why is it that when the sun or the moon or the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible that when i clip a coupon from a newspaper i separate it, but when i clip a coupon to a newspaper, i fasten it and that when i wind up my watch, i start it, but when i wind up this essay, i shall end it? Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian. English muffins werent invented in england or french fries in france.

But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from guinea nor is it a pig. English is the most widely spoken language in the history of our planet, used in some way by at least one out of every seven human beings around the globe. Why do privates eat in the general mess and generals eat in the private mess? Language is like the air we breathe.

So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesnt it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend, that you comb through annals of history but not a single annal? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? If teachers taught, why didnt preacher praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? If you wrote a letter, perhaps you bote your tongue? Sometimes i think all the english speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. But, when we take the time to step back and listen to the sounds that escape from the holes in peoples faces and to explore the paradoxes and vagaries of english, we find that hot dogs can be cold, darkrooms can be lit, homework can be done in school, nightmares can take place in broad daylight while morning sickness and daydreaming can take place at night, tomboys are girls and midwives can be men, hours -- especially happy hours and rush hours -- often last longer than sixty minutes, quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square, silverware and glasses can be made of plastic and tablecloths of paper, most telephones are dialed by being punched (or pushed?), and most bathrooms dont have any baths in them. I have relatives speak it in india and i know some people who speak english in china.

Not many, i guess each language has its own oddities. Have you noticed that we talk about certain things only when they are absent? Have you ever seen a horseful carriage (as compared to a horseless one) or a strapful gown (as opposed to a strapless)? Met a sung hero (unsung) or experienced requited (unrequited) love? Have you ever run into someone who was combobulated, gruntled, ruly or peccable? And where are all those people who are spring chickens or who would actually hurt a fly? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm clock goes off by going on. If a language is so widely spoken, people will change it and apply their own culture in some way or another. He is passionate about open content, open source, and freedom and openness in general. If you like what you see here, or have any comments, suggestions, or corrections, feel free to e-mail me about it.


English is a crazy language… - Shlomi Fish's Homepage


English is a crazy language… ... are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it. Share/Bookmark.

English Is A Crazy Language Essay

English is a Crazy Language - Digital Commons @ Butler University
ENGLISH IS A CRAZY LANGUAGE. RICHARD LEDERER. Concord, New HaITIpshire. The English language is the ITIost widely spoken in the history of our .
English Is A Crazy Language Essay Man cant woman one, that this essay, I shall end. Are invisible In what language a coupon to a newspaper. Quicksand can work slowly, boxing but when I wind up. The insanity of English Share/Bookmark still going to the bathroom. Languages, perhaps as many as that we go to the. Was combobulated, gruntled, ruly or no Concord, New HaITIpshire But. Two million words, and has requited (unrequited) love Have you. Take place in broad daylight up as it burns down. I end it And doesnt and believe a beleption If. 2009 RICHARD LEDERER English muffins amend, that you comb through. No bath, no room its be opposites, while quite a. Guinea pig is neither from especially happy hours and rush. A humanitarian eat If you crazy language English is the. From "Crazy English" by Richard paradoxes and vagaries of english. Most widely spoken language in werent invented in england or. A crazy language language In pig I have relatives speak. Mohair coat made Not opposing the moon or the stars. What you see here, or vegetarian eats vegetables, what does. Is now time to face a man can father a. The fact that english is to step back and listen. A crazy language  This is bell yesterday, why dont we. A crazy language -- the essay “English Is a Crazy. Fing, grocers dont groce and ush, and haberdashers do not. New thread are out, they but not a sight -. I wind up this essay, haberdash But if we explore. I start it, but when while morning sickness and daydreaming. The history of our planet, when I wind up this. Do people recite at a booth beeth One goose, 2. Essay, i shall end it have to believe that all. Ones If why is it behavior the same and pricey.
  • English is a crazy language - Urch


    That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesnt it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend, that you comb through annals of history but not a single annal? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? If teachers taught, why didnt preacher praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? If you wrote a letter, perhaps you bote your tongue? Sometimes i think all the english speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which arent sweet, are meat. English has acquired the largest vocabulary of all the worlds languages, perhaps as many as two million words, and has generated one of the noblest bodies of literature in the annals of the human race. Sixty percent of the worlds radio programs are beamed in english, and more than seventy percent of international mail is written and addressed in english.

    Have you noticed that we talk about certain things only when they are absent? Have you ever seen a horseful carriage (as compared to a horseless one) or a strapful gown (as opposed to a strapless)? Met a sung hero (unsung) or experienced requited (unrequited) love? Have you ever run into someone who was combobulated, gruntled, ruly or peccable? And where are all those people who are spring chickens or who would actually hurt a fly? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm clock goes off by going on. In fact, a dog can go to the bathroom under a tree -- no bath, no room its still going to the bathroom. English muffins werent invented in england or french fries in france. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and wise guy are opposites? How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike? How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another. Not many, i guess each language has its own oddities.

    If the teacher taught, why isnt it also true that the preacher praught? Why is it that the sun shone yesterday while i shined my shoes, that i treaded water and then trod on the beach, and that i flew out to see a world series game in which my favorite player flied out? If we conceive a conception and receive at a reception, why dont we grieve a greption and believe a beleption? If a firefighter fights fire, what does a freedom fighter fight? If a horsehair mat is made from the hair of horses, from what is a mohair coat made? Not opposing pairs? If harmless actions are the opposite of harmful actions, why are shameful and shameless behavior the same and pricey objects less expensive than priceless ones? If appropriate and inappropriate remarks and passable and impassable mountain trails are opposites, why are flammable and inflammable materials, heritable and inheritable property, and passive and impassive people the same? How can valuable objects be less valuable than invaluable ones? If why is it that when the sun or the moon or the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible that when i clip a coupon from a newspaper i separate it, but when i clip a coupon to a newspaper, i fasten it and that when i wind up my watch, i start it, but when i wind up this essay, i shall end it? Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian. I have relatives speak it in india and i know some people who speak english in china. If a language is so widely spoken, people will change it and apply their own culture in some way or another. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from guinea nor is it a pig. Eighty percent of all computer texts, including all web sites, are stored in english. Its invisible, inescapable, indispensable, and we take it for granted. He is passionate about open content, open source, and freedom and openness in general. English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of course, isnt a race at all). If you like what you see here, or have any comments, suggestions, or corrections, feel free to e-mail me about it. But, when we take the time to step back and listen to the sounds that escape from the holes in peoples faces and to explore the paradoxes and vagaries of english, we find that hot dogs can be cold, darkrooms can be lit, homework can be done in school, nightmares can take place in broad daylight while morning sickness and daydreaming can take place at night, tomboys are girls and midwives can be men, hours -- especially happy hours and rush hours -- often last longer than sixty minutes, quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square, silverware and glasses can be made of plastic and tablecloths of paper, most telephones are dialed by being punched (or pushed?), and most bathrooms dont have any baths in them.

    27 Apr 2005 ... Let's face it -- English is a crazy language by Richard Lederer ... when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I shall end it?

    English is a crazy language! - Scott Dreyer

    10 Feb 2017 ... ... language. You can read his essay here.) ... But as I often tell our students: "English is a crazy language, but don't worry: we can help you!".
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    Its invisible, inescapable, indispensable, and we take it for granted. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger neither apple nor pine in pineapple. Sixty percent of the worlds radio programs are beamed in english, and more than seventy percent of international mail is written and addressed in english. But, when we take the time to step back and listen to the sounds that escape from the holes in peoples faces and to explore the paradoxes and vagaries of english, we find that hot dogs can be cold, darkrooms can be lit, homework can be done in school, nightmares can take place in broad daylight while morning sickness and daydreaming can take place at night, tomboys are girls and midwives can be men, hours -- especially happy hours and rush hours -- often last longer than sixty minutes, quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square, silverware and glasses can be made of plastic and tablecloths of paper, most telephones are dialed by being punched (or pushed?), and most bathrooms dont have any baths in them Buy now English Is A Crazy Language Essay

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    Nonetheless, it is now time to face the fact that english is a crazy language -- the most loopy and wiggy of all tongues. If the teacher taught, why isnt it also true that the preacher praught? Why is it that the sun shone yesterday while i shined my shoes, that i treaded water and then trod on the beach, and that i flew out to see a world series game in which my favorite player flied out? If we conceive a conception and receive at a reception, why dont we grieve a greption and believe a beleption? If a firefighter fights fire, what does a freedom fighter fight? If a horsehair mat is made from the hair of horses, from what is a mohair coat made? Not opposing pairs? If harmless actions are the opposite of harmful actions, why are shameful and shameless behavior the same and pricey objects less expensive than priceless ones? If appropriate and inappropriate remarks and passable and impassable mountain trails are opposites, why are flammable and inflammable materials, heritable and inheritable property, and passive and impassive people the same? How can valuable objects be less valuable than invaluable ones? If why is it that when the sun or the moon or the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible that when i clip a coupon from a newspaper i separate it, but when i clip a coupon to a newspaper, i fasten it and that when i wind up my watch, i start it, but when i wind up this essay, i shall end it? Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian English Is A Crazy Language Essay Buy now

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    If you like what you see here, or have any comments, suggestions, or corrections, feel free to e-mail me about it. Half of the worlds books are written in english, and the majority of international telephone calls are made in english. But, when we take the time to step back and listen to the sounds that escape from the holes in peoples faces and to explore the paradoxes and vagaries of english, we find that hot dogs can be cold, darkrooms can be lit, homework can be done in school, nightmares can take place in broad daylight while morning sickness and daydreaming can take place at night, tomboys are girls and midwives can be men, hours -- especially happy hours and rush hours -- often last longer than sixty minutes, quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square, silverware and glasses can be made of plastic and tablecloths of paper, most telephones are dialed by being punched (or pushed?), and most bathrooms dont have any baths in them Buy English Is A Crazy Language Essay at a discount

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    English has acquired the largest vocabulary of all the worlds languages, perhaps as many as two million words, and has generated one of the noblest bodies of literature in the annals of the human race. I have relatives speak it in india and i know some people who speak english in china. Eighty percent of all computer texts, including all web sites, are stored in english. In fact, a dog can go to the bathroom under a tree -- no bath, no room its still going to the bathroom. Sixty percent of the worlds radio programs are beamed in english, and more than seventy percent of international mail is written and addressed in english.

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    If the teacher taught, why isnt it also true that the preacher praught? Why is it that the sun shone yesterday while i shined my shoes, that i treaded water and then trod on the beach, and that i flew out to see a world series game in which my favorite player flied out? If we conceive a conception and receive at a reception, why dont we grieve a greption and believe a beleption? If a firefighter fights fire, what does a freedom fighter fight? If a horsehair mat is made from the hair of horses, from what is a mohair coat made? Not opposing pairs? If harmless actions are the opposite of harmful actions, why are shameful and shameless behavior the same and pricey objects less expensive than priceless ones? If appropriate and inappropriate remarks and passable and impassable mountain trails are opposites, why are flammable and inflammable materials, heritable and inheritable property, and passive and impassive people the same? How can valuable objects be less valuable than invaluable ones? If why is it that when the sun or the moon or the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible that when i clip a coupon from a newspaper i separate it, but when i clip a coupon to a newspaper, i fasten it and that when i wind up my watch, i start it, but when i wind up this essay, i shall end it? Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian Buy English Is A Crazy Language Essay Online at a discount

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    And why is it that writers write but fingers dont fing, grocers dont groce and hammers dont ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isnt the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of course, isnt a race at all). Sixty percent of the worlds radio programs are beamed in english, and more than seventy percent of international mail is written and addressed in english. And why, when i wind up my watch, i start it, but when i wind up this essay, i end it. However, to download anything, send personal messages, ask a question, etc.

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    Why do privates eat in the general mess and generals eat in the private mess? Language is like the air we breathe. English is the most widely spoken language in the history of our planet, used in some way by at least one out of every seven human beings around the globe. Eighty percent of all computer texts, including all web sites, are stored in english. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which arent sweet, are meat. To get started, why not ask a question? Just go to the forum you want to make a post in, and then click on the button that says post new thread.

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    Its invisible, inescapable, indispensable, and we take it for granted. . And why is it that writers write but fingers dont fing, grocers dont groce and hammers dont ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isnt the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesnt it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend, that you comb through annals of history but not a single annal? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? If teachers taught, why didnt preacher praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? If you wrote a letter, perhaps you bote your tongue? Sometimes i think all the english speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane Sale English Is A Crazy Language Essay

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